BODY PARTS

Hello, and how’s your FUPA? That seems to be the word of the moment, thanks to Beyonce and her appearance on and between the covers of the September issue of Vogue magazine. After delivering twins a year ago (Rumi and Sir), Bey now says there’s more of her to worship (my words, not hers), especially in the lower abdominal region. FUPA is an acronym for Fat Upper, ummm, Pelvic Area, although you can play around with the P. Beyonce is fine with hers. In fact, she says she and her little FUPA are meant to be, and the Internet appears to be saying goodonya, Queen Bey, so I will too. Sure, she’s on the cover of Vogue, looking like an interplanetary mother goddess, but there’s some comfort in knowing that even the near perfect have imperfections, and it’s no big deal. Or shouldn’t be.

I too have a little FUPA, and a bit of a FUTA (Upper Thigh Area), and FAPA (Arm Pit Area – WTF?) I am hoping to avoid a FUBA (Upper Back Area). I have no idea what my bum is doing, since I rarely see it. But while we’re on the topic, there are a lot of things I quite like about my ageing carcass. Here’s a list:

BODY PARTS I WAS BORN WITH THAT I LIKE

Feet, ankles and calves
Wrists
Shoulders
Nose
Eyes
Skin

BODY PARTS I HAVE FIXED ONE WAY OR ANOTHER

Tummy
Breasts (one of them, anyway, but they don’t match)
Teeth
Earlobes (one of them – long story)
Eyebrows (thanks, microblading!)
Nails

My point in divulging all this is that the average person probably has way more to like about his or her self than dislike, but we tend to dwell on the negative. If you ever read Emily of New Moon, you might recall her Aunt Nancy telling her she had the Shipley ankles:

“Emily, you’re not a beauty but if you learn to use your eyes and hands and feet properly, you’ll pass for one. The men are easily fooled, and if the women say you’re not, ‘twill be held for jealousy.”

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